I wish I could go back to the days of ignorant bliss. Where everything people said was true, and I never had any doubts. I remember my nickname use to be Miss Sunshine because I was always so happy and carefree. The circumstances of my life have not allowed me to continue with this thought process. People lie. People do really shitty things because it benefits them. There is no consideration of other people and their feelings. These things, these people have turned me into a skeptic. Completely cynical and what I like to refer to as realistic. While I know there are no perfect people and I’m certainly no where close to it, I can appreciate the people who try to be good. I’d like to think of myself as one of them. I don’t always make the right decisions, and I definitely am really aggressive with anything I perceive as bullshit or wasting my time. Again, I’m aware I choose to be this way but if Charles Darwin was around I definitely think I’d be a survivor of the fittest.
I just so desperately want to be the girl I use to be. The one where everyday was a new adventure and life was full of great times with great people. Never worrying about if I’m being lied to or if this person is going to hurt me. I feel like a shadow of the person I once was. I’d like to say I have it down to a particular instance where the ex broke me. Note: I did not say break up with me. He literally broke me. Maybe that’s why I can’t be close to anyone and why I always question them and their motives. Maybe that was the moment where my undying skepticism started. Maybe that one situation has changed me forever, and I can never be what I once was.
The Random Ramblings of Danielle 