Because my life can’t get any weirder……

I was at one of my jobs today, and there is this guy who is very obvious about liking me, and I try to be very obvious that the feelings aren’t mutual. I feel like I never want to be a jerk to people (especially ones I work with) but when I don’t even care to learn your name that should be a sign. Truly, I have no idea what this guys name is. The only thing I do is say hi and keep it moving. So today I went in the back to grab the schedule, he see’s me, and approaches me saying “I’m going to be so sad.” and I said “Uhh why?” he then tells me that his birthday is on Thursday and he won’t see me. Like that statement wasn’t weird enough, he continues to say that he’s having a birthday party on Friday and wants to know if I’ll come. I told him that I worked at my other job and wouldn’t be able to make it. So then he tells me when I go to clock out that he’ll give me his address and if I can make it he would love to see me there. Again, I don’t even know his name. I don’t have his number, but he’ll give me his address because that’s normal. This guy doesn’t even know if I’m single or not, and I’m pretty sure he doesn’t know my name either. Am I the only one who thinks that this is completely weird?!


What Women Want

I know that the male gender always seems confused on what exactly women want and I’m here to enlighten you all. If you’re a lady please feel free to add to this post! I’m sure I’ll forget tons of things in the process haha

Alright you men want to know what women want? Here are things that not only I, but my friends are looking for: for starters we want you to actually be men. Not little whiny girls. As I’m an older lady (26) if you come over to my apartment and see you something needs done, do it. That would be awesome. Also it would be lovely if you actually treated me with some respect. Literally, the fastest way not to get laid is talking to me about sex in a derogatory manner. Especially if we’ve never actually had sex before. Learn the art of having an actual conversation. I’m not saying having a deep, meaningful conversation every single second but know how to keep up with one. Here’s another one: have your shit together. Sorry men, I can firmly say I know no ladies that are interested in line cooks in a restaurant with no ambition for anything else in life. Now if you went to culinary school that’s obviously different but  if you’re working at Applebee’s you can keep it moving. Make a sincere effort to know us instead of objectifying us. Sorry I’m not your little pet. I’m a person with feelings, just like you. Don’t bullshit or play games. I’m not in high school, I will always be up front with you and I expect you to do the same with me. Be consistent with what you’re saying and how you’re acting. Women get highly confused when you say “I like you” but then you don’t talk to us for a week. Those are mixed messages which leads to us freaking the fuck out on you. Also, in those situations that’s not me being crazy. That’s you being a dick. Accept responsibility for your actions!!!!! Apparently the male gender has no regard for apologizing (so annoying). When you’re clearly in the wrong just admit it. Also, some of your lies are literally insulting to my intelligence. You honestly can’t think we’re that stupid. Trust me we knoooooow your nonsense, some of us just choose not to call you out on it. I’m not one of those girls. I will call you out on your shit every single time. Also, don’t be a freak. If we don’t respond to you right away don’t assume we’re up to something bad. Sometimes you aren’t the priority and I completely understand. If we make plans and something comes up reschedule with us right away. Don’t let it hang. Take charge of the situation at all points. Come up with great ideas for dates. Be sincere and genuine (we’ll love it).

That’s all I have for now… like I said earlier if you guys have any comments post away!

Every male in my life is a FREAK.

There is soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo much going on in my world that in order to keep everything straight I’m doing two blogs in one day.


In a month I’m going back to Texas to go to one of my best friend’s wedding and due to financial difficulties I can’t be in the wedding. It’s just too expensive for me right now. So I knew our mutual friend Charlie was going to go to the wedding as well so I asked if he just wanted to go together. I should state that I don’t even think I’ve hugged him ever…. that’s how “just friends” we are. I guess he was really excited to go with me because now he won’t leave me alone. He’s asking me if I ever plan on moving back to Texas, if he can “touch a boob”, and if I would like to hang out besides the wedding. To all of these questions I gave a clear hell no. Then he text me on Monday and said “So if we have sex you want the DJ voice huh?” Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh YOU DO NOT TEXT A LADY LIKE THAT. I couldn’t even answer him and haven’t even tried since then. I don’t even understand why he thinks that anything is going to happen and that he doesn’t understand that he was a date of convenience. So inappropriate.


Kostas is an old friend from hs. He was that guy that everyone thought we were dating because we were so close. Unfortunately for him there is a MAJOR attraction issue. He’s way attracted to me and I am definitely not attracted to him. He’s a really nice guy but no. So a couple weeks ago he calls me on my way to work and asks if I wanted to hang out and I said no. He text me again a couple days ago and asks what my schedule is like, and then continues to text and call me a couple times a day. So last night while I was at the movies with Rob, Kostas calls and leaves a voicemail stating “I have a perfect first date planned there is this pottery painting place called prancing pig, and there’s a place down the road where we can get a glass of wine.” I’m sitting here like hold up… when did I ever say we were going out at all and if I had blocked that out somehow I certainly would not ever say we were going on a date. I informed him at this point in plain words that I was never going on a “date” with him and that we are only going to be friends. He calls me hours later and leaves a voicemail saying “I don’t know what your problem is…..” Uhhhh here’s my problem. You. Why are you being a complete freak of nature and thinking we’re going on a date and when you don’t get the answer you want you think you have the right to attack me. You can save that.

I’m selling my soul for a free movie

Okay so I feel like I need to state that I went on a date with Rob again. As I was sitting in my car I couldn’t help but think “I’m selling my soul for a free movie.” It’s been kind of weird lately because he’s been putting in alot of effort and that’s definitely not him. I know how he wants me to act but I know that I can’t do it. His biggest problem with me is that I seem completely indifferent to everything dealing with him. The truth is that I do care about him…. just not as much as he wants me to. I care that he’s alive and okay. After years of being mistreated and nothing coming of any of my efforts why would I think anything would be different now? Why would I open myself up to him when I know that nothing is going to happen? Or is it that nothing is happening because I don’t open up? No…. nothing is happening because he doesn’t want it to.

We went and saw The Great Gatsby… it’s terrible (I don’t recommend it!) Anyways, after the movie we went to a diner and got something to eat. He’s sitting across from me and lying to my face and because I’m not suppose to know he’s lying I can’t call him out on it. It was interesting though to see how easily the lies come from him. It was effortless. He was telling me this story about how he went out with this girl named Lucy for a month and he felt the need to have a breakup conversation with her. Now this is not true. He was dating her for a while. In fact, he was dating her while dating me and one other person. But again I’m not suppose to know this information. The other girl he was dating informed me that he was begging her to move up to PA to be with him. I mean…. this guy is a piece of work. I can’t even begin to go into the layers of lies this dude tells because they’re just innumerable.

I know you’re probably thinking “well why don’t you just stay away from him?” Well that is always the plan but after ALL the shit he put me through I’m going to milk this cow for all it’s worth. I’m going to get free dates and do absolutely nothing in return. You know why? He’s a jerk. I don’t care if this isn’t the right thing to do because he’s never done the right thing by me. Why should I care about his feelings when mine don’t matter to him?

The girl I use to be

I wish I could go back to the days of ignorant bliss. Where everything people said was true, and I never had any doubts. I remember my nickname use to be Miss Sunshine because I was always so happy and carefree. The circumstances of my life have not allowed me to continue with this thought process. People lie. People do really shitty things because it benefits them. There is no consideration of other people and their feelings. These things, these people have turned me into a skeptic. Completely cynical and what I like to refer to as realistic. While I know there are no perfect people and I’m certainly no where close to it, I can appreciate the people who try to be good. I’d like to think of myself as one of them. I don’t always make the right decisions, and I definitely am really aggressive with anything I perceive as bullshit or wasting my time. Again, I’m aware I choose to be this way but if Charles Darwin was around I definitely think I’d be a survivor of the fittest.

I just so desperately want to be the girl I use to be. The one where everyday was a new adventure and life was full of great times with great people. Never worrying about if I’m being lied to or if this person is going to hurt me. I feel like a shadow of the person I once was. I’d like to say I have it down to a particular instance where the ex broke me. Note: I did not say break up with me. He literally broke me. Maybe that’s why I can’t be close to anyone and why I always question them and their motives. Maybe that was the moment where my undying skepticism started. Maybe that one situation has changed me forever, and I can never be what I once was.

“I can’t be single and I’m ready to settle down”

I think that there is some kind of situation in Pennsylvania where people think it’s normal to get married in their early 20’s. This was prompted by being at work on Monday and having a 20 year old inform me that she can’t be single, and she is ready to settle down.

Whenever a 18-23 year old tells me this I have to side eye them. As a 26 year old there is no way when I was 20 that I was prepared to get married. I’m also a firm believer in the fact that you’re a completely different person from 18 to 25, and 25 to 30. A perfect example of this faulty thinking is my sister. She and my brother in law were married at 23, and are now separated and heading towards divorce. They’re both 28 years old currently. You know why they’re getting a divorce? They’re different people now. Which just further proves my theory. Yes, I’m aware that there are those rare situations where couples actually survive but again they’re rare.

The other fact that this girl is 20 and “can’t be single”…………. I mean, she obviously has issues that go beyond this post, but you shouldn’t marry anyone to form your identity. Maybe I can’t really comprehend this mentality because I was raised to be strong and independent but I think it’s sad (as in pathetic). This girl does not go to college, and works in a restaurant as a hostess making $8 an hour. Obviously she lacks maturity due to her age but how would she even support herself?! Let alone someone else, and potentially children. Sigh. I had to walk away… I truly can’t even stand there and listen to this child talk about things that she can’t even comprehend. I don’t know her too well but I know that she can’t support herself with her salary, so I can only assume she lives with her parents and they support her in every way other than shopping money.

I have a strong aversion to bullshit

I feel that I’m constantly trying to examine things I might be doing wrong, and making improvements in my life. I’ve heard throughout my entire dating life that I throw temper tantrums when I don’t get my way. I would like to address this here and now.

While I can certainly understand why my exes get this notion about me I would like to tell the world why. I would like to layout a real life scenario then explain my actions. While talking to Derek a couple weeks ago he had mentioned coming down on a Thursday and leaving Saturday. I rearranged my work schedule, and made preparations for his arrival. On Wednesday I get ahold of him and he informs me that he has to work on Thursday, and I say that’s fine. So instead of him just offering to come Friday, or coming Thursday after work he just let the subject go. Friday rolls around and he’s telling me that he’s trying to convince his friends to go to a restaurant called Devon Seafood Grill. This place in 20 minutes away from my house but because his friends didn’t want to go he wasn’t going to come down. Uhhhhhh wait a second. So you would come down here if your friends wanted to go to a restaurant but not just to see me. This is where my “temper tantrum” takes place and by “temper tantrum” I mean calling people out on their bullshit. 

I will definitely state my opinions in every situation. Basically, Derek, you are full of shit and I will let you know about it. If you don’t want to see me stop wasting my time. Trust me you’re not that great, and if you were this wouldn’t even be happening. Apparently this is very off putting to 99% of the population and truthfully I don’t even care if it’s considered aggressive. Be real with me because I will always be real with you. Be considerate of my time, especially when I’m going out of my way to make things perfect. Not doing those things are going to put you on the fast track of hearing about yourself in my world. 

Another example of the same sort of situation is when Rob text me at the beginning of the year telling me he tested positive for chlamydia. I immediately went and got tested and I was fine. Now he’s telling me he only slept with me and this girl from back in August. Welllllllllllll since I didn’t have anything after months of sleeping together and then magically you turn up with it you don’t need to lie to me and tell me it’s only been me and someone else. Like get real. You obviously had to sleep with someone else if I was fine. Stop bullshitting me. Also men if you text someone with that kind of information you should probably be very apologetic instead of accusatory. 

I’m even further convinced of my being alone forever. Especially with these world class losers I date.